Tiger Funk

Hi Steve,

I’ll see if I can describe this in the required 50 words or less. I’m not typically long on words, but the only thing I’ve done in 50 words or less is tell my ex wife “goodbye”!

I’m sure I spent 50 hours thinking about what I could do as a challenge that would accomplish two things: first, it must be something that would serve justice to a challenge that Steve might take on himself, seeing as I have nowhere near the stamina and strength that I think he does. Second, serve as a genuine challenge to myself – meaning I have to go into this thing not knowing if I’ll succeed or not. This is all simple enough, but trying to get the number 50 in the equation proved to be additionally ponderous.

In Southern Utah we have what is known in some circles as the “vertical mile”: A single mountain bike route that runs 12 miles from 6,000’ to 11,300’ – giving a delta of 5,300 vertical feet with grades ranging up to 14% (albeit a mile is 5,280 feet – the last 20 feet just tightens the screws of death). The normal approach to tackling this trail is to go down (Dark Hollow trail from the top of Brian Head to Parowan), something that I have done a dozen times or more. It’s always left me wondering what it would be like to ride up the trail; but lacking someone calling me on the phone and presenting me with a birthday challenge opportunity, I have never ridden the trail uphill.

Given the parameter of the challenge needing to be something that related to 50, I thought a bike ride that included this 5,000’ vertical climb would be applicable. If I made the last 280 feet, that would be a bonus, and surely the final 20 would be to the death.

I consider myself fairly fit. This is good because I didn’t train for this endeavor. I decided to run off of my current fitness level. I could see there was only a short time to get the challenge done before November 22nd; and get it done prior to the immanent onset of winter at 11,300 feet. This brings to a point: the snow. We had already had a decent dump, and I knew more was on the way; so Saturday I took a reconnaissance trip to the general area of the route to look at the snow level. What I saw was good, I only went to 9,000 feet that day, but the road was passable and I could see through the binoculars that I would likely cross to the south face of the ridge by about 10,500 feet.

Sunday morning dawned sunny and I decided this was the day. I gobbled an extra bowl of oatmeal and blueberries for breakfast, loaded my Moots, and put a bunch of other junk in a bag and headed out. The first 5 or 6 miles was great, I found my cadence and had 2,000 feet behind (under?) me in no time. I also discovered at about the 6 mile mark that I had forgotten to grab a camera and half my lunch that was in the refridge, but I did get away with the gps which allowed me to verify my elevation – the key to the day. By the time I got to 8,000’ I was pleased about my progress and was feeling strong. At 9,000 feet clouds started to move in and it was cooling off enough to warrant an extra jacket. There was snow in the trees on the north face of the slopes but the trail was in good shape. At 10,200’ the ground was frozen where it was wet, which was good for the frequent mud crossings. I crossed my first real snow drift at 10,400’ and the snow in the trees was now everywhere. At about 10,550’ I ran into trouble. Too much snow to ride through, at least where I was. I got off and pushed my bike through six inches of snow for a quarter mile hoping to cross over to the south side of the ridge or get on top where there had been more sun exposure. The trail was pretty steep and would have been a tough ride in dry conditions, there was no way to ride it in the snow. I checked the gps, and continued up the trail until I got to the 10,700 foot level (4,700’gain). I was done. The snow was now a foot deep in many places and my feet were wet and cold (bike shoes were not made for snow trekking!).

So, Steve, I’m sorry to say, I was unsuccessful in meeting this birthday challenge. I really think I was in position to reach this goal, but it will be left as an unknown until next summer (my birthday is in June!). It’s not the first time I’ve been shut out by Mother Nature, and likely won’t be the last.

The ride down was better than any other I had had on this trail, since this time I earned the ascent. I hadn’t seen a person since before I left the dirt road and I hadn’t gotten any cell phone calls (oops, left that at home too with the other stuff!) Once again my trusty Moots performed flawlessly, even while pushing terminal velocity on a 13% fire road headed back to town (Wheee!).

Steve, I hope you’re doing better soon and back to 100% shortly; few things worse than an injury getting in the way of achieving a goal.

…and of course HAPPY 50th BIRTHDAY!!

All the best,
Tiger.

1, 2, 3, 50! Made it – 50 words or less! ☺
Other adventures during Fall in Southern Utah